Living life fully

What is it about us that prevents us from living life to the fullest?

The easy answer is fear.  It is true that giving life all of your effort may result in disappointment.  It may result in heartache or financial setback or loss of pride.  Loving life and people without reservation comes with risk, no question.

It is easy to look around at those who are saving their energy, passion, material goods, and love for "someday."  However, when you admire a person, isn't it usually because they aren't holding back?  They have what we only dream of because they were willing to risk it all.

We envy those who are out there having fun, living that life we long for, and having the relationships that seem so easy.  We want what they have, yet we hesitate.  We have our reasons, our doubts, and our insecurities, but no one is ever successful without real risk.  We have been hurt before, some of us very early in life.  Sometimes our role models taught us how to save, keep, hoard, and harbor.

It will require actual effort to overcome the fear.  To jump of the cliff of safety, into the abyss of uncertainty, takes faith and strength.

It is those who are willing to put their money, their heart, and their energy on the line that are the most successful at this thing called life.  We talk about someday, maybe, luck, and wishes, but they are actually out there doing what it takes.

If you want more out of life, if you want to skid into the grave with a smile, there are steps you need to take today.  Here is a list of the daily efforts that reap the biggest rewards:

• Forgive those who have hurt you.  It is holding you back from what you want.  They may not even know that pain that they have caused, so it is up to you to let it go.
• Tell the people in your life that you love them.  Today, right now, go tell someone how much you care and how much they mean to you.  If it isn't reciprocated, that's okay.  It isn't about receiving, its about letting your feeling be known so you can move forward unencumbered. 
• Give of yourself.  If you have money or resources, do not hold on to them.  If you have talents, share them.  If you have time, give it away.  No one ever got to take their time and talents and money with them when they died.  If we are to be judged at the end of our life, how do you want to be remembered?  As stingy and selfish or as generous and thoughtful?
• Take a minute to count your blessings every morning.  We get so wrapped up in what needs fixing that we forget appreciate all the things that are wonderful about our lives.  Start each day with an attitude of gratitude!
• Reach out and give a compliment, a pat on the back or a hug to someone who needs it.  There is someone who is hurting more that you.  Someone who is having a dark day or who struggles with fear and doubt.  Be the light in someone else's life on a daily basis.  
• Finally, take calculated risks.  Nothing foolish, just chances that you wouldn't otherwise take.  From the greatest risks come the greatest rewards.  It would be sad to look back one day and say "if only."

Living life fully means feeling all the emotions in the spectrum.  Great joy and great sorrow.  Yes, sorrow, because with every pain is a lesson that will teach us what we need to know to grow stronger.

Those who live in fear never truly live, and that my friends, is a really sad thing to watch.

Self Actualization and Health

It is impossible to be completely happy if you are not healthy.  It is impossible to be productive if you are not healthy.  Most importantly, it is impossible for you to reach your full potential, if you are not healthy.  Regardless of gender or socio-ecomonic background, we all have one thing in common: a hierarchy of needs.

As described by Maslow (1954), a hierarchy of needs is a pyramid which can be divided into basic (or deficiency) needs and growth needs (cognitive, aesthetics and self-actualization). He stated that human motivation is based on people seeking fulfillment and change through personal growth.  Maslow described self-actualized people as those who were fulfilled and doing all they were capable of.  We understand this in others as "reaching potential."

If you desire to grow in any area of your life, your basic needs must be met before you can move up to the higher level of needs. Whether you aspire to achieve higher career goals, successful relationships, or personal accomplishments, the needs are the same.  One must satisfy lower level basic needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs. Once these needs have been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach the highest level called self-actualization.

Problems are created and steps are taken backward in this process when the lower (more basic) needs are disrupted.  For example, job loss or divorce can send someone back to the first two levels of needs that will then affect all of higher growth areas.  We have seen this time and time again in our own lives as well of those around us.  We get frustrated because we think we should be achieving success, (many times as defined by others) however our security and survival must always come first.  Among this first level is your health.  

If you are not functioning physiologically at an optimal level, it affects your sense of self esteem and personal success, which in turn makes it impossible to move up the hierarchy.  Most of us have our food and shelter provided, but what about sleep, medical conditions, aches and pains?   These are ground floor needs!  Taking care of your needs means taking care of your self mentally and physically. Only then can you begin to realize your full potential.  

Take a look at the following diagram.  Where do you fit?  Where would you like to be?  Can you organize your life in such a way that you put the bottom level needs higher on the priority list?  We all want to be happy, some of us want to achieve a self actualized state, however only 1 in 100 people successfully obtain and maintain that status.  Why?  Because American society has taught us to focus on "things as needs."  

'What we have' has become more important that 'who we are.'  We are more concerned with accumulating wealth and power than cultivating relationships and understanding what makes us feel secure.  I could write all day on this subject, but I think it is up to each one of us to individually decide what we want and who we want to become.  Then simplify life in such a way that ensures our base of support is healthy so we can grow into the self actualized individual that we all admire.

Characteristics of self-actualizers:

1. They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty;

2. Accept themselves and others for what they are;

3. Spontaneous in thought and action;

4. Problem-centered (not self-centered);

5. Unusual sense of humor;

6. Able to look at life objectively;

7. Highly creative;

8. Resistant to enculturation, but not purposely unconventional;

9. Concerned for the welfare of humanity;

10. Capable of deep appreciation of basic life-experience;

11. Establish deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people;

12. Peak experiences;

13. Need for privacy;

14. Democratic attitudes;

15. Strong moral/ethical standards.

There are no perfect people, but there are people who seem to just stand out from the rest.  They have the basics in place and have worked hard to live life authentically.  I think we all have that potential.  It starts at the bottom.  What can you do today to ensure that you physiological needs are met?  You would be amazed at how quickly you can move up from there!

Clutter

We hang on to a lot of stuff.

Receipts litter our drawers, old mail sits on our counters, clothes we haven't worn for years hang in our closets, and emails with no further purpose clog our inbox.  Check the garage. or the basement..oh my!

What is it about stuff that is so hard to let go of?  Hanging on to things we will never use, and information that is outdated has some negative repercussions that extend far beyond just being messy.  Is it just throw back to our post depression era parents, or is there something else going on?

It's called baggage.  Physical clutter leads to distraction and clouded thinking.  Having things that don't matter keeps us from maximizing the present and focusing on the future, because the past surrounds us on all sides.  Most of the time, we don't even realize it is there.  It weighs us down and keeps us from moving forward, literally and figuratively.

Perhaps we don't want to let go because at one time we hung on to those things.  They brought us joy and they are a reminder of better times.  Perhaps we don't want to let go of the person associated or the era that is long gone.  Everyone has different reasons for hanging on to stuff.

At some point, we realize it is too much, but the task is overwhelming and it isn't until we move that we realize how much stuff we have.  Some people just carry it from place to place.  It is unhealthy.  Moving through life efficiently and with purpose becomes impossible.

Clearing the clutter takes effort.  It starts with the decision to begin the task.  Here are some tips for how to work toward a life that is full of abundance, but not full of stuff:

1. Pick one room or area at a time.  Give yourself a certain amount of time to clear it.   Stick to it. I recommend starting with you email boxes.  It's easy and there is a tremendous amount of freedom that follows.  File the important stuff in clearly marked files for easy access.  Check the boxes for all the rest and do it...hit delete.  Let it go.  If it is negative mail you have been hanging on to, this is probably the healthiest thing you have ever done for yourself.  DELETE IT.

2. Get organized.  Put a box somewhere prominent that is marked "give away" first.  As you go through each room.  Fill it with things that are in good condition and useful to others.  It feels good to know that someone else will benefit from your ability to let go.

3. Throw it away.  We feel wasteful if we throw stuff away.  Garbage is garbage.  If you are not going to use it or wear it, and no one else will want it either, pitch it.  You can do it.  If you can't, get someone else to do it for you.  Rule of thumb, if you haven't used it in several years, the chances are you won't ever again.  It may have seemed like a good idea and you may have spent a lot of money on it, but everything loses value over time, accept it.

4.  Eliminate paper.  Grab the recycling bin.  Scan copies of important documents or create hard copy folders and organize 1 filing cabinet to keep it in.   Get rid of the rest.  If it isn't taxes or legal documents, you don't really need it in paper form.  Start getting your bills electronically, and keep sticky notes only until you can get that address or to do list into your planner or smart phone.  Then pitch it.  Get someone to put your pictures in albums or scan them on to your hard drive.  Any pictures of ex's should be tossed.  Your current love will thank you.

Do not underestimate the power of letting "stuff" go.  It isn't useful and it is downright harmful for many of us.  Getting rid of things and moving on doesn't minimize the importance of people, times, events, and places that are precious to you.  It means you are a grown up that understands that memories are in your head, not your closet.

Hang on to the memories, get rid of the junk!

Be well.

Awesome Quotes

Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. Mignon McLaughlin

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer. Clement Freud

To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. Buddha

He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything. Arabic Proverb

Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other. Joseph Addison

As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself. Adelle Davis

Fitness – If it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body. Cher

Health is not valued till sickness comes. Thomas Fuller

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. Buddha

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Hygiene is two thirds of health. Lebanese Phrase

Here’s to your good health, and your family’s good health, and may you all live long and prosper. Washington Irving

It is health which is real wealth, not pieces of silver and gold. Gandhi

For each new morning with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything thy goodness sends. Ralph Waldo Emerson

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. Billy Graham

Eat well, drink in moderation, and sleep sound, in these three good health abound. Latin Proverb

What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? Adam Smith

I keep my good health by having a very bad temper, kept under good control. Theodore Roosevelt

What you give for the cause of charity in health is gold; what you give in sickness is silver; what you give after death is lead. Jewish Phrase

Good health, good luck, and happiness For today and every day. Irish Saying

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

“If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” Mahummad Ali

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” Richard Bach

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” Napoleon Hill

“It is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and others.” Dalai Lama

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.” Plato

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” Theodore Roosevelt

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” Mark Twain

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” William Arthur Ward

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Zig Ziglar

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” Oprah Winfrey

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw

“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” Henry Ford

“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.” Deepak Chopra

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison

“Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.” Benjamin Franklin

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” Gandhi

“Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.” Martin Luther King

“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” Abraham Lincoln

“Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.” Vince Lombardi

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela

Scottsdale Street Fair

Looking for something new to do in Scottsdale? The Scottsdale Pavilions at Talking Stick is hosting a street fair located in the Sports Authority parking lot beginning January 8, 2012.

The fair is open every Sunday from 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM at the 101 and Indian Bend Road in Scottsdale. The whole family will enjoy live entertainment, play areas, local food, and merchandise from area vendors in a great outdoor atmosphere.

Parking is free and plentiful, but bring cash for kids play area, food, and some really great merchandise. This is a great opportunity to drive business at the new Scottsdale Pavilions and remind us all why winter is so special in the Valley of the Sun.

Each week a different charity is supported which makes the trip worthwhile. For more information or to become a vendor, click here for more info.